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 Well it is now officially January 1 2014! Happy New Years everyone and may your goals come true this year. It's hard to believe that yet another whole year has passed. It almost seems like the year 2013 didn't even happen at all! Well, I wasn't able to really celebrate much since I've had to work yesterday and also today but at least I got to observe a bunch of fireworks from my backyard. I just love fireworks - but the noise makes it hard to want to sleep..like I should be doing as I type. <shifty eyes> I guess with the new year comes the motivation to leave all the negativity and failures of the previous year far behind and try to start brand new...I plan to try and get in that same mindset as well. Keyword: Try. I've been contacted for a job I've been tirelessly trying to get, so I'm hoping this will be a taste of the good new start! Unfortunately, my current job has decided to cut our hours so bad that I'm mostly scheduled for four hour days now..not sure why they even bother scheduling me at all if that's the case since I'll earn just enough to go back and forth to work everyday. Well - let's keep our fingers crossed! A customer kind of got me motivated to be positive...she told me life's too short for telling myself I hope things happen all the time...that I need to tell myself it WILL happen. Well. I'm sure things are going to straighten out soon, I've just got to keep trying and not let myself feel so defeated.

In other news, I have been in contact with my long lost baby brother. He sent me a letter with a photograph of himself. I am so happy that I've been given the chance to get to know him. I went and bought him a bunch of gifts that I've yet to get around to mailing. It's taking me some getting used to emotionally, this sudden addition to my family. I'm a pretty elusive person - the way I type it might be hard to believe, but I tend to hide away and it's hard for me to let people in sometimes. It's something I've been trying to work on all my life, I'm getting better but it's still a challenge and sometimes I catch myself still trying hard to avoid closeness. There's a lot of pain that comes with new relationship with my brother too which is where the challenge comes in for me this time. We are siblings through my biological father and he's not such a great man. I hate to say it, but I absolutely despise the guy. Part of me wishes I had nothing in my life to remind me of the guy and to focus only on the man who took me in as his little girl knowing we weren't blood related - but another part feels obligated to know and take care of my baby brother now to make up for such a worthless father that has somehow managed to leave behind some kind of emotional scarring on the both of us. All I know is that I've sworn to make the best effort I can to help us both to learn to forgive and move on...AND WOW, that came out so melancholy. 

 

Well - I should probably force myself to go get some shut eye, I have an early day tomorrow filled with customer service galore. We all know how fun THOSE days can be. Hehe..ugh. I guess I should be grateful though, for Christmas, I got thrown back into the main building that I used to work since not enough cashiers were there to get through it...and those customers were just terrible. I absolutely do not like being a cashier during Christmas...on that note...I might fall asleep in a better mood now. 

 

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