Aug. 16th, 2014

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 Well. Again, I've managed to fall behind on my blog. I guess that's what happens when you get busy - things become harder to keep up with. Not that this matters much, I really doubt my thoughts and words are important to anyone but myself. Anyway, I've become full time at work and we're getting new ships in so it's been pretty gosh durned busy up hurr in deez purtz herpderpyderp..but in all seriousness. I'm finally full time and getting better pay and more vacation time earned. That's really all my life is these days is work though. A vacation is coming up here soon though, only another day of work and I'll be free for a week. I'll be heading back over to Pensacola to spend time with my grandma and others for my birthday. It's one of the few good things I have to look forward to lately. I don't get to see the rest of my family as much as I would like, but every now and then is far better than never. Apart from this, there has been no major changes in my life. My anxieties and mental fog are kind of the same. I'm getting better at not being so gloomy at work - it's hard being a cashier when all your job consists of is being fact to face with lines of people. I still often feel like I'll crawl out of my skin or puke my heart right out onto the counter for some miserable stranger to stare at. It's not easy but I'm slowly figuring out ways over time to cope with it. Funny, I've run out of things I care to share now. I know there's more but the motivation to write is lost and so I will just call it a night. To who? Who knows. As usual, my words are lost into nothingness. One day I'm not going to be so damn lonely. One day, my words will mean something to someone..I will not hold my breath.

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